23 Minutes, When I Close My Eyes.

When I close my eyes

its not always peace that I find

but

the last few minutes of

his consciousness...

his existence

that I search for
 

When I close my eyes...

it's

The very last few minutes that he may have had

his thoughts...

his beliefs,

a sense of his surroundings...

what occurred..

what was lost.

 

 

When I close my eyes



The Air is Still...

You can hear the engine rev,

his last look....

before the fear begins...
 

airborne....
 

When I close my eyes..
 

You wonder what happened..

how could this occur?

Just out with a friend...

the night becomes

a blur...

I can hear the crash

the twist of fate...

 

 

the car.....

the glass

smash..

the upturned tree..
 

the smell...

like somethings burning..

the silence

before the scream...

What thoughts,

what memories

did he see....

a flash of

light?

an angels touch?

 

 

when I close my eyes...

 

 

Waylon....

Waylon....

 

 

Did your eyes ever open

did you hear your name....

as

she came to be with you,

Waylon.

 

 

Did an angel come stand

with you...

in the darkness

of the night?

Hold your hand..

and guide you to the light?

 

 

These are my questions,

When I close my eyes....

 

 

The ambulance,

the staff..

I know the drill...

 

 

When I close my eyes..

 

 

I can see the helicopter

feel the wind in my face

the bright colored panels

in the still of the night..

 

 

it comes for you

it comes for you

 

 

Waylon....
 

Waylon....

I can see them

I can hear them..

I know what they do..

 

 

the tearing of the wrappers..

the sound of the monitor....

waiting for the return
of your precious

heart beat,

 

 

chest compressions...

the oxygen

the ambu bag.....

 

 

I can feel the adrenaline,

racing through my veins.

the counting begins,

1 and 2 and 3..

breathe...

breathe...

breathe Waylon breathe.

 

 

1 and 2 and 3..

breathe...

breathe...

breathe Waylon breathe.

 

 

they work hard

I see that in my dreams..

you're just a young man

so much yet to achieve.

 

 

It takes

23 minutes....

until your heart beats again.

I can hear it,

see it..

 

 

They whisk you off

so much yet to do

but we all know how this ends

 

 

When I close my eyes...

 

 

I don't get to change it

even though I have tried

many nights I

 have begged,

pleaded and

cried.

 

 

When I close my eyes..

 

 

I've yet to find you...

in my dreams I search

but I know..

someday..

your hand

I will hold.

 

 

When I close my eyes.

 

 

Waylon.



The Dance

The Dance

By Garth Brooks

Sung By Wyatt Martensen and 

Rex Martensen

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

your love, O Lord, endures forever--

do not abandon the works of your hands.

Psalm 138:8

The Dance

A song that has so much meaning..

written and played over and over 

again..

by so many.

When someone says "The Dance",

you know, oh,

that song...

But on May 11th, 2010..

"The Dance",

took on a whole new meaning for us..

I will never hear that song again....

without remembering

the strong, mixed emotions that 

stirred in my heart...

the day Rex and Wyatt

somehow,

very calmly..

sang "The Dance",

at Waylon's  funeral...

To this day, I still don't understand,

how they were able to sing,

but the only thing I can think of,

is what great love they wanted to 

share, and show to everyone..

how much they loved Waylon...

They did an exceptional dedication to the son and 

brother...

who means so much to them..

I wish we had recorded 

"The Dance",

that day...

but...

the events played out so fast..

it's hard to make every decision..

when you are trying to give your son

the best possible moments..

at his funeral.

We wanted everyone to see Waylon..

the way he lived his life...

So, we recorded "The Dance",

in basement of 

Grandma and Grandpa Martensen's

basement..

where so many memories were made,

where the kids spent so much of their 

time, playing, laughing, and having fun..

To Waylon..

"The Dance".

WYATT ALAN MARTENSEN 2012

BROTHERS FOR LIFE 





BROTHERS FOREVER




Waylon, I know you would be so proud of your brother, Wyatt.

The brother who tormented you, so often, shared a bedroom with you,  tore down your Lego towers, played with your toys, got sometimes more attention than you, only because he was so Loud and rambunctious.

The brother who ate your chocolate cake and you called him a “hogger”.

The brother who made you laugh, cry, angry, happy and Love!

The brother who always tried to go out and get “that big buck”.  Only you got it first!  Always the lucky hunter!

The brother who shared your love for our family.

The brother who would do anything for you.  Stand beside you. 

The brother who would fight for you if needed!

The brother who loves you, Waylon.

The brother who will never forget you, or the times you shared together.



Wyatt Alan Martensen

The brother who shared your birthday.  Of course, he was born three years after you.  June 21st.  My favorite day of the whole year!



The brother who shares a passion for music.



Waylon at Ha Ha Tonka.




The group of crazy kids!  Always. 

This is a typical picture of the kids “acting” up.  But, these are the brothers and sisters who would do anything for the other….Don’t know why Rozalyn isn’t in this photo.  She’s probably standing off to the side watching.  Always watching!




The “Brother” tattoo.

Waylon, this tattoo is on Wyatt.  Notice the “Boone Dock Saints Cross”.

This is the brother who misses you, thinks of you daily……

the brother who will never forget you,

the brother who loves you.


Waylon….I love you……Always….Mom.

This House I Made (Acoustic) - Brush Creek Outlaws

http://songwriter.whooznxt.com/     Vote for Brush Creek Outlaws.  Wyatt's original song.
Need facebook fans, twitter, any social media...This is for big prizes. 
Wyatt is the younger brother of Waylon.  I know Waylon would be so proud of his little brother!

This House I Made (Acoustic) - Brush Creek Outlaws

Vote for Wyatt Alan Martensen.
Wyatt and the Brush Creek outlaws are in 3rd place  Help their fan base grow.
Wyatt wrote this song.  It's his original that reminds him of his grandarents.  2012

Ha Ha Tonka, The hidden treasure.

 

 

 

 

Ha Ha Tonka

State Park

 

 

The Castle

 

 

A special place in our hearts.

 

 

 

Waylon, 1994.

 

 

We moved to Camdenton, MO when Waylon was just one year old.  Rex was the Conservation Agent of Camden county.  During the 10 years that we resided in Camden county, Ha Ha Tonka became a favorite spot for us.  During the warmer months, we walked all over the trails and boardwalks.  We spent countless afternoons and days just enjoying the simple pleasure of walking and running and laughing.

 

When Waylon was just a little guy, it was hard for him to say Ha Ha Tonka.  So this is how he would always ask me to take him there...

"Mom, you take me to Honka Honka today?"

 

And, I would go, load up the 4 kids, Rozalyn hadn't arrived yet, and I would push the stroller around,

and walk the trails of Honka Honka.....

 

 

 

Our home in Camdenton.....

so many memories

in "this old house".

 

 

The other day, I took my grandson to Honka Honka...

and we walked those same trails....

and ran on the boardwalks..

visited the castle and tower..

we visited the natural bridge,

and the 316 steps...

although, we didn't go down the steps this time....

 

 

 

Leyton

 

 

 

As we were leaving, a couple that we had seen off and on that day was leaving also..

He asked me if I was from the area....

I said I had lived here for 10 years but had moved away..

He asked if I had spent time here when I lived here...

 

Oh yes, lots of days where spent here...

 

He then said, "this is kinda like a hidden treasure, we just stumbled upon it today....."

 

The couple was on their way to Branson...

but he said he was so happy to have stopped here...

 

 

And, I thought, me too!

I thought of Waylon, and my other children, that had spent so many days there...

So many memories...

 

"in our little hidden treasure..."

 

 

Leyton, I tried to get him in the same spot as Waylon's picture....

 

The tower.

 

The Natural Bridge.  Leyton was afraid we might see a snake.

 

The overlook, by the castle.

 

As I looked down the trails, I tried not to cry...

I tried to hold tight to the memories I have there...

and....

 

the voice that I can still hear, so loud in my thoughts..

 

"Mom, you take me to Honka Honka today....."

Waylon

 

 

Psalm 119:10

 

9 How can a young man keep his way pure?

By living according to your word.

 

10 I seek you with all my heart;

do not let me stray from your commands.

 

11 I have hidden your word in my heart

that I might not sin against you

 

12 Praise be to you, O Lord;

teach me your decrees.

 

14 I rejoice in following your statutes..

 

15 I meditate on your precepts

 

16 I delight in your decrees;

I will not neglect your word.

 

Waylon loved the Lord..

He demonstrated that love over and over...

 

 

 

 



Memories of Waylon, Aug 18, 2012. 2nd Annual 5 K

 

 

 

Jeremiah 1:5

 

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,

before you were born

I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

 

 

Waylon did not die alone....

he entered a Kingdom. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This video is made in the memory of

Waylon Michael Martensen.

 

1990-2010