Wounds
I don't generally like a lot of "saying's".
Because, it is someone else's thoughts,
or quotes.
But when I came across this one,
it really has hit home with me.
Today is Memorial Day.
2013
And over the weekend, I heard many of the same things I hear every year.
"Time to get this summer started,"
"It's the beginning of Summer,"
"Time to party."
"We are all headed to the Lake,"
"It's family time."
"Kick back and relax."
Of course, I will hear some reference to
"the troops", and those who fought for
"our freedom."
As I should.
I will see more flowers out in the
cemeteries.
Memorials in the paper for
loved ones.
But anymore, it seems all about,
"getting the summer started"
"having fun".
For me today,
it's just the opposite.
I came across the above picture again today,
and I am reminded,
not that I ever forget,
that I do carry a huge wound.
Some days, I am sure that it is
very visible to others.
And some days,
maybe I hide it more than other days.
Whichever, it is there.
However, the above statement is true.
After three long and tortuous years,
I have developed some scar tissue to "protect"
my sanity.
I know Rex has done this also.
Probably as unconsciously as I have.
I continuously look at "my family" as whole.
And I know, we will never be
the same.
As a family unit,
we have a "wound".
We very seldom talk about the "wound".
It's just there,
you feel it and it never leaves you.
I am not saying we don't talk
about Waylon, we do.
But the pain is still to intense.
We try to keep it positive,
remembering only the funny and humorous
stories.
Waylon's Birthday is coming up.
He would be 23.
I constantly think about what he would be doing,
where he would be living.
His job, dreams, and life.
I am constantly reminded of Waylon.
And I feel him with me often.
So, today, my wound hurts deeper,
the scar tissue is stretched thin,
my arms ache to hold him,
and my "sanity" is weaker.
Missing my son.
Waylon Michael Martensen
06-21-1990 - 05-07-2010.
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